sk8 | open post

I only brought it up because of how you said you weren’t interested in girls! I had to be nosy and find out why, most guys our age are horny as hell.

[ Not that he wants to think about that, not when Langa could be feeling that way about someone who isn’t Reki. It makes his stomach twist into knots and this throat tighten until he nearly chokes on his drink. Coughing softly, he sets it aside to reach for an ice cream that will both sooth some of the unpleasant heat of jealousy in his gut along with save it from melting onto his floor. ]

Are you kidding? You totally have a chance, I don’t need to know him to know that. There are guys at school who’d probably go gay just for you. [ Ripping open the ice cream packaging, he sticks it into his mouth before he says more creepy shit. ] Me? He’s so far out of my league it’s a different game. He… likes someone, and I can’t compete.

[Yeah, don't mind him suddenly taking this moment to shovel this ice cream in his mouth and very pointedly not mention anything that could induce further conversation about horny teenage tendencies. In Langa's eyes, that's well worth risking brainfreeze.

Except... damn, it hurts so much more than he realized to hear Reki say he has a chance. The sentiment is kind, and of course he's grateful for that, but then Reki casually says the person he's crushing on is a guy and Langa's pretty sure his heart's going to collapse in on itself if this nauseousness and undeniable jealousy don't do him in first. A guy? Reki likes a guy?!

Realizing that he completely froze for a few seconds, he sets his newly empty ice cream cup aside to shift and bring his long legs inward. He isn't quite hugging his knees to his chest, but he would if it wouldn't make him look and feel even more like a petulant child.]

Anyone who wouldn't date you is stupid. I mean it. [How deeply are his brows furrowed?] There's no way he's out of your league. Trust me... I'm the one who can't compete.

[ Maybe, deep down, there had been a glimmer of hope in Reki that they could be talking about each other. Neither of them had a ton of friends, no one they were as close to as each other, so there had been a possibility that he could be Langa's mysterious crush. That hopeful little flame is snuffed out, though, because Reki basically admitted he liked Langa, hinting at it so strongly that he even added on the fact that he liked someone. It should have been an invitation for Langa to connect the dots, but even if he has, clearly he isn't interested and doesn't take the bait. Reki feels the ice cream freeze him from the inside-out on its way down to his stomach. ]

You have to say shit like that, you're my best friend. [ He tries to go for a teasing tone, but the weight of his emotions makes it difficult to lighten his words. It's not that he thinks Langa would lie to him about being a good guy and all, just that he's obviously biased to think that. ] How can you build me up and put yourself down at the same time? You're the hottest guy in school, the coolest skater at S, but still sweet and humble.

No I don't. I'm being honest.

[How many people does Reki think he knows? And really, compared to Reki, has Langa ever paid even 5% as much attention to anyone else? Sure, he's dazzled by all of the amazing skaters at S, but he's pretty sure he doesn't even know the names of more than 10 people at their school, and that's a generous estimate to begin with.

If he says anything more, Langa's positive he'll give himself away.

And as scary as that thought is, in some sense... he kind of wants to.]

Reki... [His voice drops down, softer than usual.] If you knew who I was talking about, you'd understand. He... he also likes someone.

[ Reki scoffs lightly, but he also knows that Langa is telling the truth. He doesn't have a dishonest bone in his body as far as Reki is concerned and he's only ever been honest and earnest. He does know, too, that he doesn't have many friends or even know that many people. Reki may rather unpopular, but at least he knows people and has gone to school with most of the other students for the majority of his life. He still marvels at how quickly he and Langa became close, not to mention how fast Langa became the heart-throb of the school.

The soft sound of his name draws his attention more than any shout, and he feels his stomach clench in anticipation of... something. His skin starts to tingle in apprehension, just like before he hits a crack in the road and has to bail off his board. Something is happening, but his brain hasn't quite caught up with what it is yet. ] Do... do you know who it is? Maybe he likes you but hasn't said anything about it. Could be mutually pining for each other. [ Or he could be totally projecting and about to make a fool of himself. ]

I don't know what to think anymore. I thought he knew how I felt about him.

[And no, of course he doesn't know who it is! Langa only just found out that Reki isn't straight, and the fact that he likes a guy on top of that is enough to give him a little spark of hope that he still has a chance.

The two of them are alone in Reki's dim, quiet room at midnight, talking about love and revealing new, deeply personal things about themselves, and now Reki's filling him with the type of longing that makes his heart constrict.]

Reki... You shouldn't say things like that.

[This is dangerous. So, so very dangerous, and Langa's impulse to suddenly move in close and lean against Reki's side isn't helping.]

There's too much at stake to risk it. And I'm... too afraid of messing things up between us.

Have you told him?

[ That thought brings back a sinking feeling in Reki's stomach. He's nauseated from this roller coaster of emotions, of maybe thinking he knows that Langa is talking about—who he's talking about—only to have the rug ripped out from under him again. Half of him wants to take the plunge just to get it over with, regardless if it's a happy ending or a rejection. But in the end, he's a coward, and he'd rather cling to his one and only best friend rather than risk ruining things between them.

But that last statement... it feels too close, uncomfortably relatable and easy to put himself into that "us" that almost hangs at the end of the sentence. Swallowing thickly, he glances sideways at Langa and recognizes all of his emotions mirrored on his handsome face. ] Why not say it? Is it too much to hope for?

I haven't said it. [Not in the words he should, at least. Langa's voice is still quiet, trailing off as he speaks, but he has to ask...] Have you?

[But when Reki looks over at him and sincerely asks such a deep question when they're already close enough for their shoulders to be touching, it feels like the world stops turning.

Langa's never been good at holding back from the things he wants. And when it comes to Reki, everything just spills over, like he's been on the precipice this whole time. Because he has, really. It's just never been like this until now.

He wants to glance away for the sake of his own heart. He really does, but instead, he reaches out to gently place his hand over Reki's.]

I'm scared of overthinking this, Reki.

Not exactly. [ He is, of course, in the same boat without realizing it. He's told his crush that he has a crush, just not that he is the crush. Even as he thinks it over, though, using that word to describe his feelings for Langa feels too small. It's far more than a crush, to the point that even someone inexperienced in such things can tell that it isn't a common high school infatuation.

Reki is so focused on Langa's face that he doesn't notice him reaching for his hand. It's startling, enough for him to flinch mildly, but just as quickly he relaxes into it. Something just clicks, and it feels right to turn his hand over until their palms are pressed together and Reki can slot his fingers between Langa's. Again his actions speak louder than words, body moving while his brain tries to catch up. ]

You! [ He blurts it out before he, too, can overthink this. The body language is all there, and the tingling nerves all along his arms combined with the tightening of his chest makes him think that he should go with his gut on this one. ] I like you! Really like you. And I really really hope you like me back or I'll feel like a huge idiot.

[Simply feeling the warmth of Reki's skin is enough to set him somewhat at ease, but the moment Reki turns his hand over and laces their fingers, Langa visibly jolts and reflexively tightens his hold.

If his brain shuts down and he lets his heart lead him, will Reki mind? It feels like his pulse has to be loud enough for both of them to hear, breath caught in his throat, but that's never been more okay than now. He didn't think that Reki would pull his hand away, of course — not when physical contact is often as important as words between them, but this? Langa may not be the greatest at picking up social cues, but he's pretty sure that this combined with the way Reki is looking at him means something special.]

Reki, I—!

[But then Reki begins talking at the exact same moment, as if they're bound to always be in sync, and Langa falls silent. The "but sorry, I'm in love with someone else" he's anticipating never actually comes, and once the words finally, finally sink in a little before Reki finishes speaking, Langa's already clumsily scooting in a little too close and talking faster than either his brain can carry him.]

I love you! [Not "like." Love. He's never been more sure.] Reki, it's, I... I meant you. It's always, always been you.

[ That little jolt nearly derails Reki, but the warmth of Langa's hand as it grips his tighter is as reassuring as the focused gaze of his best friend. He can do this without running away, both because he's learned to fight his fears and because he's never as scared when he's got Langa at his side.

That side is being pressed up against with the dizzying presence of Langa taking up the last of what little space had remained between them. Somehow, they've both angled towards one another, twisting like sunflowers towards the sun until their faces are so, so close. When Langa replies, when he uses the word that Reki had cautioned him against at the very beginning of all of this, his face bursts into a hot flush that he can feel up to his hair and down to his collarbones. Love? Langa loves him? Not the same way as a burger or friends or maybe even skating, but love... ]

Me too! I mean, I've been in love with you for a while now, a long while but— Well— Can I kiss you?

["Love." A word he's heard in Reki's voice, certainly, but not like this, with "you" following so close behind. Langa is so, so much weaker than he ever could have imagined, but he's never been more grateful to be smitten beyond belief with this boy who effortlessly breathed new life into his world.

They're so close now, distance naturally shrinking by the moment, and it's taking every ounce of Langa's faulty willpower to not gracelessly throw his arms around Reki and pull him in until there's not an inch of space left between them. The flush that dusts his cheeks is so effortlessly charming that it's easy for Langa to lose himself in it... But then Reki's words fully sink in, and he can't do anything more but stare at him in enamored, wide-eyed wonder.

Reki, the amazing, talented, ever-vibrant Reki he's been in love with this whole time, wants to kiss him, and Langa's breath catches audibly in his throat.]

...Yeah.

[Without letting go of the hand still held tightly in his own, he twists until they're facing each other even more, placing his free hand on Reki's shoulder. In his eyes, Reki's always been perfect. But right now, Langa can't help but think that he's never looked quite so lovely.]

Will you? [Dropping his voice just above a whisper, he switches to English for one word that he's certain Reki will understand.] Please.

[ Reki is sort of surprised they haven't kissed already just from the fact that their proximity is increasing by the second. It would feel so natural to just lean in and do it, but there's also a part of him that has the very loud opinion that he needs to ask. He can't help thinking about Adam and all the ways he'd touched Langa, the caresses bestowed upon him without asking. Maybe it was the jealousy, and one that Reki hadn't quite understood at the beginning, but he doesn't want to exude any of that same energy with one of the most important people in his life.

Even if Langa's initial response is maybe lacking in enthusiasm, what follows makes Reki's body shudder pleasantly. Langa turning even closer to him and reaching for another hold on Reki. Langa asking him, nearly pleading with him, in both languages. It makes Reki groan before he leans in to press their lips together, inexperienced as all hell but enthusiastic about his first kiss being one so easily shared with Langa. ]

[If Reki hadn't specifically asked, Langa would have already done it without thinking twice. It's just his nature to dive in headfirst once he has something in his mind. But his mind is nothing but Reki, and even in the heat of the moment, he's able to realize that he should wait since Reki asked. But that doesn't mean he isn't leaning in to meet him halfway, easily bridging the distance between them.

The way their lips meet is probably a little clumsy, but Langa couldn't care less. Rather, the way Reki had let out that little groan just before catches up to him, and a wave of chills lances down his spine as he angles in to try to press even closer.

They're both equally eager and inexperienced, yes, but he wouldn't have it any other way.]

[ Hands linked, body leaning forward, and lips pressed to Langa's, he should logically be uncomfortable. His brain isn't functioning normally, however, because the soft warmth of Langa's mouth against his is everything, and the fact that he's kissing his soulmate consumes every other thought in his mind. Langa is leaning in just as eagerly, too, and Reki is already dizzy without even holding his breath for all that long.

Reaching out, he grabs the front of Langa's shirt to keep him close and experiments with tilting his head more to the side. He can taste a hint of mint from him and instinctively darts his tongue out to taste more of that sweetness on Langa's lips. A second later and his brain catches up with his body and he jerks away, just a few inches, with a hot blush splashed across his cheeks. ]

Sorry— Uh, not sorry, but— I don't know.

[In so many ways, it feels like he's dreaming. Langa's thought about what it would be like to kiss Reki more times than he would ever admit, but Reki's lips are somehow far softer than he could have imagined, just as warm and inviting as the rest of him. The whole world is so simple when it feels like it's just the two of them, all shallow breaths and racing heartbeats and Reki's breath mingling with his own.

But as if they're perpetually on the same page, Reki pulls Langa in by his shirt at nearly the same time he begins to move his free hand, and then he's gasping shallowly, and... Oh. Oh.

The thrill that rushes through him as Reki's tongue licks at his lips is nearly palpable, and Langa's left somewhere between gaping and completely wonderstruck as Reki jumps back without warning.]

Reki...

[Soft, adoring. As Reki scrambles for an awkward half-apology, Langa takes the moment to fully, properly shift to allow them to face each other. And while he has to untangle their hands to do so, he throws his newly free arm around Reki as soon as he possibly can, pulling him in close until their chests are flush against each other the way he's secretly wanted from the beginning.]

Reki.

[Langa shudders, lips barely brushing against Reki's as he speaks. But without another word, he closes his eyes and presses their lips firmly together once more, not wasting another moment before parting his own and licking at Reki's lips in turn.]

[ Reki has always loved the way that his name sounds coming from Langa, but it sounds like the softest, sweetest music right now. It makes him warm in ways he's never felt before, at least not outside of his dreams and guilty moments in the dark hours of the night when he wakes up sweating and panting. To think that he doesn't have to feel bad about wanting to kiss his friend, that he doesn't have to pine for Langa anymore and can instead act on their mutual feelings, gives him the kind of high he's only ever felt while skating. ]

Langa. [ He mumbles it back, the second syllable lifting in a question when it feels like he's pulling away. Then he's closer, facing him properly and wrapping his arms around Reki in a way that feels like coming home. Reki's hands move lower towards Langa's hips to try and pull them in, to gather him into his lap so they can be comfortably close. Then they're kissing, and Langa's tongue presses to his lips and Reki parts them on a content sigh. He has absolutely no idea what he's doing, so he's running on the instinct to dart his tongue out, too, in search of the taste of Langa beneath the minty sweetness still lingering. ]

[If he stopped to think, maybe Langa would realize that he's likely being a little too eager for a first kiss. But when everything he's done has been met with an equally eager response from Reki, there's no reason to second guess himself or slow down. In the end, maybe they're both a little impulsive. And that's just fine.

This isn't the first time he's ever had his arms around Reki, of course, but holding him like this is wonderfully new. And when Reki's hands find his waist and pull him in so tenderly, Langa doesn't waste another moment before shamelessly scooting up into Reki's lap and closing the rest of the distance between him, shifting in order to bring one of the arms from Reki's waist up to splay his fingers in soft red hair.

Kissing Reki is just as exhilarating as skating with him, soft lips inviting him in with quiet sighs and clumsy laves of tongue, which he leans into in turn. As expected, Reki also tastes like ice cream, but Langa wouldn't be surprised if he always tasted this sweet, the feeling of their tongues brushing together decidedly new.

And truly, it feels so very right for them to be exploring this together for the first time, curiosity and want shoving aside their mutual lack of experience. If it's with Reki, Langa's sure he could do anything... and he's all too desperate to shower this boy in all of the love he's been holding back in name but not feeling, a soft groan slipping from his lips as he curls his fingers into Reki's shirt. It doesn't matter if he's not doing this right, because everything is Reki, Reki, Reki, and he's never been more eager to learn something alongside him.]

[ There is no doubt in Reki's mind about being too eager, not when they've apparently been mutually pining for one another this whole time. It makes him think of time lost, of opportunities wasted, of misunderstandings that could have been avoided. If they'd confessed their feelings earlier, would things with S have unfolded the same way? He has to remind himself that he came to terms with his love for Langa partially because of how things have happened, though, so for all the tears and drama, it's also led them to this point.

Reki's stomach backflips when Langa moves so easily into his lap. His weight is a welcome one, something to anchor Reki in place when all of the kissing threatens to launch him into the stratosphere. He's never felt this good, both mentally and physically, and he doesn't want to let go unless Langa makes the first move to pull back. The groan that comes from him boosts Reki's confidence that such things won't be happening, though, and encourages him to try nipping at Langa's bottom lip. ]

[Unless Reki pulls back or gives a clear sign that he wants to stop, Langa isn't planning to move away. Running almost completely on instinct is a dangerous thing, but his mind is too caught up on Reki to factor logic in. And honestly, he's just fine with that.

They fit together just as perfectly as always, a natural ebb and flow between them that feels so right. Langa's instinct to move in as close as possible is probably precarious, given that pushing Reki down to the floor isn't past him by any means, but he's just so damn smitten that it's hard not to unload all of the feelings that have been gradually building and flooding him since the first week they met. Does Reki know how beautiful he is? Does he have any idea how quickly he became Langa's entire world?

There aren't any clear boundaries of what he can or can't do, but when Reki suddenly nips at his lip, Langa finds himself gasping reflexively. The shudder that runs down his spine isn't something he can hide, but the sensation felt so new that he couldn't care less. Both of them are a little clumsy in the end, gradually feeling out what feels right and makes the other react... but like a give and take, Langa doesn't hesitate to nip Reki's lip in return as soon as the opportunity presents himself, experimentally moving the hand in Reki's hair up further to bring his fingertips beneath his headband.]

[ Langa's reaction to that tentative bite is everything and Reki soaks up the feeling of him shaking and the sound of him sucking in air. He barely has time to calm down from that before Langa is biting him right back, further proving himself to be such a quick learner when he can experience something with his body. It's overwhelming in the most pleasant way Reki has ever felt, flooding his body with warmth as he thinks about how it might feel for Langa's teeth to press into other parts of his skin.

The hand in his hair feels like it pushes him over the edge—of what, he isn't sure yet. But those long fingers inching beneath his headband, into thick hair and a sensitive scalp, makes Reki moan into the kiss far more loudly than he probably should. It makes him tense up as his face goes nearly as red as his hair, and he pulls away just far enough to bite his own lips and swallow back more embarrassing sounds. It's only his hair, it shouldn't feel so good to have Langa touching it, and it shouldn't feel like moving a hand beneath something as simple and innocent as a headband might foreshadow more touches under other garments. ]

[Reki has it right — being pushed over the edge is exactly what this feels like, and as a bit of distance is put between them, Langa pulls back enough to stare down at Reki with wide eyes. Hearing a noise like that is nearly enough to end him on the spot, and exhaling unsteadily, he's immediately positive that the sound of it will never, ever leave his mind. Reki made that noise because of him, and much like a switch has flipped, he wants to hear more.

Something swoops low in his stomach as he stares, trying to make out the colour on Reki's face in the dim light. But as the headband moves out of place with the movement of his fingers, Langa moves to shift it up and pull it off completely, allowing it to gently fall to the floor beside them.]

Reki... [They haven't even been kissing for that long, but Langa's voice is breathy enough to surprise even himself. He knows exactly what he's doing as he cards his hand through Reki's hair and leans in again as he speaks, but how is he supposed to help himself when Reki's looking at him like that?] Do that again.

[ The weight of Langa's gaze is nearly tangible, both exhilirating and terrifying in those moments when Reki can't read the emotion in his eyes. The shakey breath is somewhat encouraging, as is the fact that Langa hasn't pulled away from him yet, but still—this is brand new territory for Reki, and he doesn't even have the benefit of a ton of romance movies and television to give him an idea of how things work between two guys.

Something about the way he pushes off the headband feels like a good sign. If Langa was worried about drawing more weird sounds from Reki, surely he wouldn't continue what he's doing. Then he calls his name, soft and yet somehow also tense like it's holding something back with the simple syllables. He recognizes the tone as something he feels deep in his gut as well as his heart: want. They both want each other so badly, enough that the mere thought of withdrawing his hands feels like a monumental trial. Langa seems to feel the same way as he runs his fingers through Reki's hair, unimpeded by the headband now, and his fingernails just barely scratch over his head. It's amazing, enough to make him shiver bodily and moan again without trying to bite back the sound. ]

N-no fair, I already feel weak without you doing that.

[Maybe this situation is becoming more precarious by the moment, but Langa doesn't mind. He's wholly content to stay here in Reki's lap forever, kissing him softly and holding him in all the ways he's always dreamed of doing.

If he becomes addicted to these sweet noises, Reki is completely to blame, shuddering under his touch and looking up at him with those big golden eyes that seem to sparkle even when they aren't illuminated by the blazing Okinawa sun. But in many ways, maybe he's been addicted to Reki from the beginning.]

Then we're even.

[Testing the waters, Langa curls his fingers in that soft, unruly hair, tugging at it just slightly before moving on to skirt areas he has yet to explore. He's never really gotten to touch Reki's hair, not like this, but without the headband Reki always wears, this gesture feels... even more intimate, somehow.

Langa's cheeks may be a little flushed as he speaks, but he couldn't possibly sound more sincere.]

You have no idea how weak I am to you.

[ Even? The fact that Langa could ever think such things is impossible to Reki as he melts further under each touch until it feels like he might turn into a puddle of goo right there on the floor beneath Langa. How could Reki ever hope to make Langa feel like this with such a simple touch, something so seemingly innocent that feels sinfully good? He feels positively naked without his headband, too, vulnerable in the most preposterous way; it's not as if Langa's never seen him without it on, after all. ]

I'm barely touching you.

[ It's true, somewhat. His hands have turned to fists on either side of Langa's waist, clutching the fabric of his shirt. He feels like it's keeping him in place as much as Langa, maintaining a status quo of both remaining verticle and close. Yet now he's thinking of rucking that same anchoring shirt up around his wrists to put his palms on bits of warm skin rarely seen and never touched. ]

Can I do more?

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I'm so, so sorry for the wait! I've been dying to reply, but I passed out for 17 hours after work...

omg no need to apologize!! rest is important

You say that, but I completely slept another two days away?! RIP. I should be good now, though!

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